A raccoon’s wild night on the town ended in predictable fashion Saturday — passed out on a bathroom floor surrounded by broken bottles after an impromptu liquor store bender in Virginia.
The furry bandit broke into the store in the early hours, causing significant damage during what officials described as a “full-blown rampage” before succumbing to the effects of its alcoholic spree.
According to authorities, the raccoon’s taste in spirits leaned toward the stronger varieties. It specifically targeted the bottom shelf of the store, where scotch and whisky were stored, leaving pools of alcohol on the floor amid the chaos. Several bottles were smashed, and at least one ceiling tile collapsed during the incident.
Officer Samantha Martin from local animal control responded to the unusual call and discovered the inebriated culprit. “I personally like raccoons. They are funny little critters,” Martin explained. “He fell through one of the ceiling tiles and went on a full-blown rampage, drinking everything.”
Hangover from hell? The raccoon was taken to the Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter where it was allowed to sleep off its night of debauchery before being released back into the wild.
The shelter later confirmed that the raccoon showed “zero signs of injury (other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices)” before its release. They added a touch of humor about the incident, noting that the animal was sent back to nature “hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer.”
For Officer Martin, the boozy bandit was just another day on the job. “Another day in the life of an animal control officer, I guess,” she remarked about the unusual call.
The store’s owners have not publicly commented on the damage costs or whether they’ll be installing raccoon-proof security measures. One thing’s certain — this particular woodland creature won’t be welcome back for happy hour anytime soon.
